If I Only Had The Words
by sassyblackfish
Summary: Oneshot, BxE. Bigger summary inside. Basically a really fluffy exchange of words - and notes? - between Edward and Bella. Somewhere around post-New Moon/pre-Eclipse, because BD doesn't exist in my world. Extremely cheesy, but that's why it's loveable!


**Okay, so I was on the laptop and not the normal computer, and I didn't have any of my documents to update the other fanfics, so I decided to write this random oneshot just for fun. Hope you enjoy.**

**Full Summary: Bella's mysterious writing has Edward curious, but she continues to avoid telling him what it really is. After several attempts at weaseling out the information, Bella finally tells him what she was writing, and he decides to write something as well. BPOV, Fluffy, title is explaned later in story. Oneshot, just for fun.**

* * *

_Tap._

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

_Pause._

_Ta-tap-tap._

I let out a frustrated groan as I erased the sentence yet again. I had been sitting at the computer for hours and yet the page before me is still blank. I sighed heavily.

"What are you doing, love?" came a velvet voice from behind me, and I jumped a mile.

"Oh, nothing," I said, slightly flustered, and looked up at the source of the voice. My inhumanly beautiful boyfriend stood above me, peering at my face from deep topaz eyes. I smiled reassuringly at him as I quickly closed the window and turned to face him.

He wasn't looking at me, though. He was peering past me at the now empty desktop, curiosity lighting his eyes.

"I'm sure it wasn't nothing," he persisted, and I rolled my eyes and stood up, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Give it up, Edward. I didn't write anything, anyway."

"But you were working at the computer for hours," he commented, and frowned, staring deep into my eyes. He was trying to dazzle me, and I knew it. _Stupid dazzle powers._

"Yes I was."

"And, during all this time, you haven't written _anything_?" he asked me incredulously.

"Well, I have written a few things…" I paused, deciding whether or not to tell him any more.

"Bella…"

I finally decided that, no matter how much willpower I used, he would get the truth out of me anyway. "I was trying to write something, but it wasn't quite right. I kept just writing and erasing."

"But what were you writing?" he inquired, still looking at me intensely.

"Not telling," I teased, tapping the end of his nose.

He rolled his eyes at me.

I kissed his cheek sweetly then walked to the other side of the room, searching for my purse. "Isn't Alice waiting for us?" I asked to divert his attention.

"Yes," he answered, sighing impatiently. Then there was silence as he suddenly became completely motionless, something that always seemed eerie to me because you could never tell whether or not he was still in the room without turning around.

I continued searching for my purse, and after a moment he said, "She's blocking me out."

"Who? Alice?" I asked, finally finding my purse and turning to him to evaluate his expression.

He seemed very concentrated, searching for a way into her thoughts, waiting for her to slip up and accidentally let him hear something she was hiding for him.

After a few more minutes of this, he sighed in defeat and held out his arm for me in a very gentlemanly fashion. "Shall we go, my love?"

"We shall," I answered, taking his arm.

We got into the car and began the unnecessarily short ride to Port Angeles. Alice had tried to talk me into going shopping with her, but I would only agree to go if she made Edward come too. Edward, being the gentleman that he is, agreed to come, and so we are currently being whisked away by Alice to one of the world's most deadly nations: the mall.

_At least it's a distraction and Edward won't bother me about my writing any more,_ I thought as we pulled into the parking lot of the mall and began what was sure to become a _very_ long afternoon.

--

Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Later that night, after I had been dropped off with several armloads of bags and Edward promised to come see me later, I sat down in front of the computer and pulled out a blank document. I searched my memory, trying desperately to think of any past situations which might give me inspiration for my writing, but all I got was wistful daydreams that were far from appropriate for what I was trying to write.

I don't know how long I sat in front of the computer. All I know is that at some point I had drifted off (the white glow from the computer screen makes me drowsy) and I was now being carried to the bed by strong, cold arms.

"Edward?" I mumbled, trying to open my eyes but failing miserably.

"I'm here, love," Edward said quietly as he laid me down on the bed and tucked me in.

"Stay with me?" I knew I sounded desperate and pathetic, but at this point I was too tired to care.

"Of course," he said, lying down beside me.

We lay in silence for a few moments, just enjoying one another's company. I was close to falling asleep, but I didn't want to. I wanted to stay awake and lay with Edward forever.

"I don't mean to disturb you, but…" Edward began, hesitating. I opened my eyes and surveyed him.

"Go on," I mumbled.

"Well, I was just wondering…what was it that you were writing?"

I groaned. "Can we not talk about that?" I muttered.

"Please, love?" Edward pleaded, leaning over me to look deeply into my eyes. _Darn those eyes…_I thought glumly, and finally rolled my eyes and turned over. He wrapped his arms around me protectively and I leaned back into his embrace.

"I was trying to find the words to describe how much I love you," I finally answered, my voice thick with exhaustion.

"And?" he prompted.

"They don't exist," I whispered, before closing my eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

--

When I woke up the next morning, Edward was gone. Sitting on the desk, however, was a note written in his beautiful script:

_Bella,_

_Sorry I had to leave so early. Carlisle wanted to talk to me about something. It's extremely important, or else I would have never left you._

_I was thinking about what you said before you fell asleep, and I agree. However, I did write you something similar to what you were intending to write. Keep in mind that the words come nowhere near explaining how much I truly love you, but I tried to my best abilities._

_I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I'll be sure to return to you as soon as I can._

_Ever yours,_

_Edward_

I smiled as I read the note, then sat down at the computer desk cautiously. I wiggled the mouse to turn off the screensaver, and instead of seeing my familiar desktop I saw instead a document left open on the screen, filling my vision with beautiful words.

_If I had a million years to live, I'd let you hold me._

_If I only had one, I'd let you hold me more._

_If I had a million years to live, I'd sing to you forever._

_If I only had one, I'd sing more._

_If I had a million years to live, I'd laugh with you._

_If I only had one, I'd laugh more._

_If I had a million years to live, I'd keep you forever._

_If I only had one, I would never let you leave._

_I have a million years to live and more, and I'll love you every second._

_If I only had one, I couldn't love you more._

Tears slid silently down my cheeks as I read. I knew I was smiling like an idiot, but at that moment I could care less.

I spent the rest of the day waiting impatiently for Edward to come back. I paced around the kitchen, having nothing to do as Charlie was out fishing with Billy and everyone else had mysteriously gone missing or was currently attending an "important meeting" of sorts.

I had already cleaned the entire house in my impatience and also filled out every remaining college application form. Every article of clothing in this household was now clean, and the windows were so clear even a vampire might crash into one. _Ha, that would be funny…_

"What are you doing, love?" Edward said from the doorway, and I immediately flung myself at him and buried my face in his chest.

"Missed me?" he asked smugly, and I rolled my eyes. He flashed me a brilliant smile and my breathing hitched.

"I read your note. And the poem," I said, gazing up at him. All smugness left his face.

"And?" he asked anxiously.

"It was probably the sweetest thing that has ever been done for me," I said, and kissed him quickly.

"I'm glad you liked it," he murmured. We stood in each other's arms in silence for a few moments more.

"I wish I could write something like that for you," I said longingly. "If I only had the words…"

"You do, love," he whispered in my ear, stroking my hair gently. "There's only three of them."

I smiled up at him. "I love you," I said quietly, pressing my lips to his once more.

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**So, what did you guys think? Please review, it helps to boost my self-confidence (not that I need any, I _am_ the Queen of Cockiness, after all). Feedback is great. Even if you hate it and think it's a piece of -insert expletive here- (sorry for that, but I purposely avoided swearing so as to keep it rated K+ (there's a plus sign there, in case it's evil and it doesn't show up), so...yeah) tell me anyway. I love to hear from you peoples!!**

**Lots of Love and Joyful Abandon**

**Alexa -hearts-**

**PS - Second day of school and already I'm too tired to function. School's a -again with the expletives- I'd rather sleep. But eh, you win some you loose some.**


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